I Do So Love My Life

When I started this blog I knew the title had to say I was addicted to humans. Well, that’s still true (just ask Ms. Patty) but I’m also addicted to food. Oh, you knew that already. Hmm.

Well, Ms. Patty decided to buy something called a programmable food dispenser. I’m still not sure why because she’s always there to feed me. Anyway, three times a day food comes shooting into a bowl attached to it. Oh, if this isn’t a wondrous thing I don’t know what is. One day I decided to see if I could get food out of it when it wasn’t time for it. Just for giggles, you know?

Insert comment from Ms. Patty: “Just for giggles? Right. More like you’re a little piggy girl and will do anything for a snack!”

Excuse me, Ms. Patty? This is my tale.

Anyhoo, I tried to sneak food out of it by bumping it but nothing happened. Then I tried to stick my snout up into the opening, still nothing. Then what do you think I did? I used a paw to reach inside. Which paw? Correct! The right one because I’m…say it with me now…right pawed. Meow!

So what do you think happened? Oh glory days, out came a few pieces of food! I glanced around to see if Ms. Patty was watching and she wasn’t, so I snarfed those down. Then I tried again, eureka! More treats came out! I ate those, too.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps. I want so badly to try again and not even because I was hungry but because I wanted to see if I could do it again. I’m torn between her catching me and not catching me.  But I had to try again, the treats came out and Ms. Patty was right there, I backed away from the feeder really fast in hopes she wouldn't see. But I can tell I wasn't successful. Uh oh. I’m in trouble again.

Ms. Patty: “Stella! What are you doing?!?”

Me:  Um, nothing.

Ms. Patty: “Do you really need to do that? Don’t I feed you enough?”

Me: Um, sure??

Ms. Patty: “Out, out, out of the kitchen, now!”

So there I sat on the rug just outside the kitchen, acting all cool about what had happened but really I was staring at my new feeder waiting for IT to feed me again, which it finally did at dinner time. Nummers…

A day or so later Ms. Patty comes home with a smile on her face, she’s had her hair done with a new color and it’s so pretty and it smells really good. No, I don’t want to eat her hair but I do want to touch it because it looks so soft.  She is trying to take a picture for her hairstylist, Andrew, because he did such a nice job and she wants him to be able to brag and show off because he’s going to be famous one day. So we, er, she may as well be able to say she knew him when and send him a picture. I decided I wanted in on this endeavor, see what I mean? She didn't see I had done that until after she took the picture. I'm so sneaky...meow.

A week or so after the picture taking event Ms. Patty had company over for a potluck and campfire. It was quite a fun time, all these people ‘accidentally’ dropping food for me. Not to mention the fact that I was being petted ALL the time and played with. Ms. Pattywas constantly worried that I would run outside anytime the door was opened but why in the world would I when there were at least a half dozen people inside nearly all the time, and at one point there were about 12 people! I’m not stupid, sister, I know where to be. It was a grand time and I only tried to get up on the food table once…that Ms. Patty knows of. But my god-mother, Ruth, caught me. Whoops, can’t pull a fast one on that girl.

Well, it’s past time for my second nap of the day.Toodles, everyone!

Busy, Busy, Busy

My heartfelt apologies to my loyal followers for not posting since last month. Ms. Patty hasn't given me as much computer time as of late, something about looking for a job in order to feed me. Well, as I adore edible goodies, who am I to argue?

I have been busy myself, adjusting to my new home especially late into the night. I've been here a little over three months and I keep discovering nooks and crannies to explore, thought it's a relatively small home. I've also tried sleeping in a lot of different places, no real favorites yet. Unless, you count sleeping on top of Ms. Patty - though she doesn't like it as much so we need to come to an agreement on what works best for both of us. I'm sure I'll win. Ohh, that was catty, wasn't it? Meow!

One of the things I discovered in our house is the garbage can. It can really tempt me while Ms. Patty has been cooking. She throws away meat wrappers without letting me lick them, I truly am aghast at that. What a waste, all those juices...gone. Sigh.

But never fear, I'm nothing if not creative, even if by accident. You see, one day I realized that if I stood up on my hind legs and reached up with my right arm (remember, that's the strong one as I'm right-pawed), I could tip the garbage over and get into all that goodness! The first thing I found was some smelly things I think she called onions. Yuck. I kept digging and found some coffee grounds, double yuck.

But then I found this lovely package wrapping for what used to be something called bacon. I had not heard of that before but oh my, I was really enjoying myself licking the package when I heard her footsteps. Uh oh. Lick, lick, lick...hurry, get all I can before she takes it away! Faster! Faster! Phooey, there's still some left on the package but she grabs it away from me.

Ms. Patty: "Stella! What have you gotten into?"
Me: I would think that's pretty obvious.
Ms. Patty: "Looks like we'll have to get a different garbage can, one you can't get into."
Me: Sigh.

So the next thing you know Ms. Patty goes out and buys this metal-like thing with a lid I can't poke open, it's too heavy to tip and I can't smell a thing! Oh well, I am trying to watch my waistline so it's better this way. Most of the time. I'm lucky though because you know what? I found where she stashes some treats, don't tell her!

What else? I know, I've been helping her shred paper which for some reason Ms. Patty calls "Pulp Fascination." I don't know what pulp is but anyway, the first time I tore up a receipt she wasn't very happy but for some reason now she finds it amusing. And I get to destroy something WITH permission. Although I don't have a picture of me shredding something in a lady-like way, I'm sorry about that. I only have one that's a tad blurry because she startled me tearing up that receipt. I even bared my teeth but I made sure to apologize to her later. I still need to eat, you know?

Ms. Patty has taken a few other humorous pictures of me which I suppose I could share. I've taken to playing between the shower curtain liner and the tub. See, the shower curtain is outside the tub, then I'm inside the tub inside the liner. I then jump up at the curtain to see if I can make her laugh when she comes in. I sometimes simply hang over the tub edge because it's so comfy. A really cool thing though, is chasing my sparkle balls around the tub. They look like little balls of tinsel and they really fly!

Here I am in the tub and following that is a picture of me trying to rest after playing but Ms. Patty insisted on taking my picture even though I wasn't looking my prettiest. I still love her, she feeds me so how could I not?

Stay warm, my darlings!

Pssst....I Have a Secret

I have to confess - I have a secret. Some would say that technically I have five secrets but the way I look at you say TOmato, I say toMAto. The point is I really would like to tell you about some lovely little kittens I am personally acquainted with before the National Catquirer spills the details.

Last year I was just a young feline out playing in the sunshine of a lovely Minnesota summer day. I was so innocent, truly I was. I would sprawl on the lawn looking through the blades of grass trying to find some mice to chase. Or I'd hide beneath the deck and peer out to see the bird feeder and attempt to catch the little birdies when they flitted to the ground to get seeds that spilled. I wasn't too good that.

One day I came running around a corner and nearly slammed into another cat. Specifically, a big tom named Rocky. I'd heard about him and his exploits around the neighborhood but I was sure it was just a reputation, nothing more. He was so handsome I nearly started to drool. But instead we both froze in place our tails getting bigger by the nano-second, our backs arching up like dinosaurs. He meowed low at me a few times and then then he walked a little closer to me...yowza!

Was I captivated by his charm and his good looks? Probably, because all I could think about was his reputation and boy, just that moment of inattentiveness and my guard was down. Whoops.

So 60 some days later I'm at Oak Knoll Animal Hospital having been brought there by the police. That's a story for another day. Suffice it to say they discovered I was pregnant. Oh dear, that darn Rocky, and here I thought I was getting fat from all the mice I caught. Silly me.

They checked my belly with some big machine thing and figured I would have 3, maybe 4 kittens but I surprised them all and had five! I was at the hospital for a bit before I had them and then I went home with one of the employees (such a sweetheart, she spoiled me so much!), who cared for me until I gave birth on September 8, 2010, and then through the weaning process. That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be because I really loved my babies.

Pictures? Ms. Patty took some, I don't know all of their names and the ones I do know I'm not sure if I'm spelling them right but they're so darn cute, who cares? You can see the pictures larger if you just click on them.

The Twins - They love to wrestle together and then they snooze all spoon-like.

Blackie - He was totally black when he was born and then little white hairs started to sprout out all over! I adore his eyes, don't you?

Lily - My beautiful, darling only daughter. She's so pretty she takes my breath away. Sigh...

Harley - He is a rambunctious one and has so much personality. When Ms. Patty visited us at the hospital he walked right up her arm and looked her directly in the eye. Then he tilted his head one way, she tilted hers the same, then he tilted it the other way and she did too. Silly Ms. Patty, doesn't she know he was teasing her?

Here they are with me right after the birthday party. They look like little rats, don't they? But they were so good and I had fun with them. But now I have fun all on my own with Ms. Patty. I do wish I knew how they were doing so if any of my kids get a chance to read my blog, please do let me know how you're all doing.

Love you, my darlings!

P.S. to the National Catquirer  - say all you want but I'm not ashamed and you'd be better off chasing down that naughty girl, Co-Co. Now SHE has some dirt you'd want!!