When I started this blog I knew the title had to say I was addicted to humans. Well, that’s still true (just ask Ms. Patty) but I’m also addicted to food. Oh, you knew that already. Hmm.
Well, Ms. Patty decided to buy something called a programmable food dispenser. I’m still not sure why because she’s always there to feed me. Anyway, three times a day food comes shooting into a bowl attached to it. Oh, if this isn’t a wondrous thing I don’t know what is. One day I decided to see if I could get food out of it when it wasn’t time for it. Just for giggles, you know?
Insert comment from Ms. Patty: “Just for giggles? Right. More like you’re a little piggy girl and will do anything for a snack!”
Excuse me, Ms. Patty? This is my tale.
Anyhoo, I tried to sneak food out of it by bumping it but nothing happened. Then I tried to stick my snout up into the opening, still nothing. Then what do you think I did? I used a paw to reach inside. Which paw? Correct! The right one because I’m…say it with me now…right pawed. Meow!
So what do you think happened? Oh glory days, out came a few pieces of food! I glanced around to see if Ms. Patty was watching and she wasn’t, so I snarfed those down. Then I tried again, eureka! More treats came out! I ate those, too.
Suddenly, I hear footsteps. I want so badly to try again and not even because I was hungry but because I wanted to see if I could do it again. I’m torn between her catching me and not catching me. But I had to try again, the treats came out and Ms. Patty was right there, I backed away from the feeder really fast in hopes she wouldn't see. But I can tell I wasn't successful. Uh oh. I’m in trouble again.
Ms. Patty: “Stella! What are you doing?!?”
Me: Um, nothing.
Ms. Patty: “Do you really need to do that? Don’t I feed you enough?”
Me: Um, sure??
Ms. Patty: “Out, out, out of the kitchen, now!”
So there I sat on the rug just outside the kitchen, acting all cool about what had happened but really I was staring at my new feeder waiting for IT to feed me again, which it finally did at dinner time. Nummers…
A day or so later Ms. Patty comes home with a smile on her face, she’s had her hair done with a new color and it’s so pretty and it smells really good. No, I don’t want to eat her hair but I do want to touch it because it looks so soft. She is trying to take a picture for her hairstylist, Andrew, because he did such a nice job and she wants him to be able to brag and show off because he’s going to be famous one day. So we, er, she may as well be able to say she knew him when and send him a picture. I decided I wanted in on this endeavor, see what I mean? She didn't see I had done that until after she took the picture. I'm so sneaky...meow.
A week or so after the picture taking event Ms. Patty had company over for a potluck and campfire. It was quite a fun time, all these people ‘accidentally’ dropping food for me. Not to mention the fact that I was being petted ALL the time and played with. Ms. Pattywas constantly worried that I would run outside anytime the door was opened but why in the world would I when there were at least a half dozen people inside nearly all the time, and at one point there were about 12 people! I’m not stupid, sister, I know where to be. It was a grand time and I only tried to get up on the food table once…that Ms. Patty knows of. But my god-mother, Ruth, caught me. Whoops, can’t pull a fast one on that girl.
Well, it’s past time for my second nap of the day.Toodles, everyone!
